Contemplating 19

The crossroads of one's life. When one lays a solid foundation to fall back upon and revisit during their lowest and darkest hours. The first true test of a person's character, when one decides to either wallow and subsist, or rise and prosper.

The year 19 is something different to each of us. For all of us, it is our first chance to experience true independence. The first chance to be responsible for all of our actions, words, and relationships. Gone is the sure safety net of our parental stewards of 18 years. We are now our own people.

On a more personal level, the 19th year has exceeded the fanfare I bestowed on it above. It held a great deal of "firsts" for me, and as a result I have grown and matured more in the past 11 months physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially than I had in the previous 5 awkward years that made up my teenage existence.

I've learned what it feels like to receive an almost unconditional love from something that is neither parent nor animal. To receive it from someone you view as an equal partner in the human race makes it all the more sweet. My only regret is that I haven't been able to match that in its entirety.

The first year I've been comfortable with all facets of my personality. I've finally come to terms with a few issues that I had successfully ignored, and am all the better for it.

The first divorce I've ever gone through, and even though it wasn't my own it was still harder to get through than I could've thought possible.

The first year where I wasn't afraid to put myself out there. Well, I was still terrified, but still went through with it anyways. Thanks to those that didn't crush me when you had the opportunity to.

Learning to have empathy for fellow humans. Wanting to make amends for deeds committed long ago. Understanding that we all look for the same things in life, just take different paths to get there. Knowing that if I can make it through this unscathed and stronger, than I can withstand anything. It is with this knowledge and experience that I look forward and become excited at the prospect of what is to come.

(From the Day I fell in love with Photography)
With less than one month before I hit the big 19 I thought that I would take this opportunity to collect my thoughts on the past year, and my thoughts on the near future.

I came up with the idea while out on a run. For some reason I like to think about writing things down while I run. Feel free to rail me on bad grammar, spelling, horrific/boring writing, etc. I would enjoy feedback though.